How do you make a decision?

Do you make it straight away – you’re so darn confident?

Take ages making it while thinking about every possible problem and outcome?

Get someone else to make it?

Remain undecided?

Flip a coin?

Rely on Fate, Chance or Karma?

You still have a Magic 8 Ball that you’ve used to make your decisions since 1990?

In my personal life, I resort to asking my children what they think. My husband has rebelled at me passing the buck to him by making me decide everything now. Apparently it’s good for me. It probably is, and he’s right to get frustrated with me, but it’s downright maddening!

When I do make a decision it takes forever to get there – so long in fact that people get bored or angry. This is due in part to a sluggish brain. It flings itself in and out of depression at the moment so takes a while to process information. Sometimes lack of sleep is to blame for that too. Having children also means, instead of being able to decide to just leave the house, I have to think about all sorts of extra stuff. Is it nearly lunchtime? Do they need food now? Will there be anywhere to get food where we’re going? Will they like it? Do I need to put snacks in my bag? How about drinks? Will there be a toilet? Will we be in the car near to bedtime in which case they’ll fall asleep and then refuse to go to bed when we get home?

At least with these decisions there are other humans which need to be considered and who, sometimes, do have their own opinions.

Work is different. Work is just me. Trying to work from a room in my house that shares itself with the kids toys, comfy seating, a tv,a stereo and with a kitchen next door (distractions are frequent and easy) is difficult enough without adding indecision to the mix.

I have miraculously got to the point of knowing where I’d like to be – get an agent, do some illustration work, get some artwork in some galleries – but how do I get there? I need a portfolio and some actual pieces of work. I dream of being prolific and driven. My stumbling point is which project? I’ve spent too long flitting between ideas in my head. I need to concentrate on just one. Which one? I have a list…

illustrations for beloved books, fairytales, zombies, a look at the architecture of my village (built from scratch in the 70s), exploring shadows and silhouettes, turning my story ideas into papercut comic books….

As if that wasn’t enough, a very cool, but clearly exacerbating*, chum of mine throws webcomics into the mix!

I will get there…but in the meantime if you have any comments or tips feel free to message me x

*for definition see a Guinesss Extra Cold beermat**

**sorry for the pop culture reference to Shaun of the Dead – I really can’t help it.

#papercut #illustration #papercutting #depression #decision #indecision #project #portfolio

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